ok so here is a little run through of the past year
i move bak to my home town after spending month in London i meet a guy who i reeli like alot me and the guy start dating pretty much imediatly ...But as time goes by i realise this guy has a past, a past of cheating having sex with lots and lots og guys beating people......but i let it all sit in the back of my head..stupid me thinking he would never do any of that stuff to me...but then it starts it starts with him speaking to other guys about things then doing things with other guys then using the internet to get guys and going out alone to hook up with guys......now even though i knew about all this we had confrontations but i just let go of it i left him a couple of times but always went back to him cus for the first time in my life i loved somebody and wanted them to love me back but at that same time i was holding back cus each little thing was hurting me more and more inside sop i put a kinda of wall up and things just started going down hill from there til leventauly just before my birthday 25th October 2006 we broke up but we had kept on seeing each other a couple of times a week to say if we could work it out and we tried but i guess it just didnt work.
So now we sorry i have decided to call it all of.....now what i am feeling i have never felt before normaly when i end a relationship im fine no emotional damge atall but this time is totaly different i feel like the is a band around my body and it is getitng tighter and tighter i lie in bed crying to myself i can not speak to any1 about it though cus i think they will just laugh as people dont see me for the perosn i am they see me as some1 that just moves straight on from 1 pertner to the other which in the past yes i wa slike that but not nemore im hurting like never before
i feel down and out bummed out depressed you name any word along these lines i feel it
what will come of me now i have no boyfirend i am currently not working i spend all my time indoors as non of my friends live close to me nemore
owen
